Schedules, dammit.

Is it just me?

Harper and I are touring an elementary school tomorrow, and I want her to be well rested. Jeff took her to run "a few errands" and they left at 4pm. He got her home for supper at 7:15.(She usually eats at 6)

Her bedtime is 8pm on school nights, and although Mondays are usually our slow mornings, we have to be there tomorrow at 9:30.

Now I know 9:30 doesn't seem that early, and I know it's REALLY late considering how early I will have to have her at school in the fall, but I'm not in that phase yet, so don't judge me or tell me I "have a rude awakening when she gets to kindergarten".

I drop my kids off to their preschools at 9am. I usually look like a mess, but they are dressed and lookin' cute, then I go back home and get myself ready for the day.

Tomorrow I have to get Harper and Spence up, fed, dressed, and myself up, fed, and dressed, and Jeff, my 3rd child, up and fed. And I have to do it by 8:45. I want to give myself extra wiggle room for potty emergencies, not knowing where to park..etc

I think(KNOW) men don't think about schedules when it comes to kids and things like this. I am sort of convinced, however, that it helps to keep kids comfortable. Not eating dinner 5 minutes before bedtime, eating at the same time everyday seems to eliminate tantrums night waking, wetting the bed...etc etc.

When it comes to parenting:

I am a "plan ahead" kinda person. Jeff's not. WAY not.

I'm a "think things through" kinda person. Jeff's not.

I learn from my mistakes. Jeff is suprised every time the kids cry and writhe and scream at bathtime when it gets pushed back 30 minutes. I'm not, and I will fucking tell him so and we will yell over the kids writhing and screaming and crying and it escalates, and we are all tired and screaming and then expect the kids to just magically go straight to bed after all of that crying and screaming and writhing and arguing.....

Parenthood is hard. Being married to a man is hard when you are trying to be a mother. Men just aren't wired the same way we are, tno matter how hard we try to change that, it only frustrates us more. My particular frustration today is schedule.

I am nervous about tommorow, and it is coming out sideways. Does that make sense? That phrase may be of my own creation, "comes out sideways". What I mean is, I feel one way, but act another. Anger comes out as nitpicking, frustration comes out like anger. I am worried about tomorrow, but instead of just calmly saying that,(HAHAHAHAHAHAHA) I yell at Jeff about something else. The dishes, kid's bedtimes, how he cleans up the pee pee Spency made on the kitchen floor with a dishcloth...you know, important shit here, folks. (The dishcloth was from Williams Sonoma, in my defense)(Use a fucking paper towel and some spray cleaner!)(It's URINE)

It's SO not important, but when I am nervous or anxious about something, EVERYTHING seems HUGE. Little shit that doesn't matter, and won't matter, and I even KNOW it doesn't or won't matter, MATTERS when I am tired, or anxious, or worried about something in the future.

I best stay right here, and chillax. I married a good man who forgives me when I wig out over dumb shit that doesn't matter.

LIke planning ahead, and leaving with plenty of time for emergencies when you have kids.

Who knows, maybe the husbands have a good bead on things, just go with the flow.

What the FUCK am I talking about?

It's wine time.