Like they care

So I am throwing a party for Spencer tomorrow, and I have been cleaning obsessively, why? We all do this, don't we?(Or am I the only one, and think eeveryone does, but really I need to be on a stronger dose of OCD medication)

It's just gonna get jacked up tomorrow. Please please God, let me relax, and not worry about the mess.

Spencer is OBSESSED with the garbage and recycling trucks when they come. I heard from my friend Julie, that a friend of hers in Dallas did this: Call the city, have them come, do a little presentation on recycling, and you get a truck! The kids get to get on the truck, and it's not a garbage truck, but a recycling one, therefore they assured me it won't have semen, fecal matter, or bong water on it.

(It may have bong water, cause maybe some TCU dudes think, in their haze, that bong water can be recycled somehow.)(Or semen from reusable condoms)(and dookie skidmarked shorts)

Surely they will bring a truck that is pristine. Sparkling. Shiny.

It's difficult, recycling.

Pizza boxes:no.
Wine bottles: yes
Milk cartons: yes, if rinsed and washed out.

Okay here's my thought, if you are rinsing and washing all these bottles and cans and shit, aren't you wasting water?

Also. On the outskirts of my brain, I am worried that the recycle presentation people will walk in my house, in their hemp shoes, and see my Keurig coffee maker that I love more than Jeff, and judge me for using the super convenient pods.

My vegetable friend, Halie, doesn't use them. She re-uses the little filter thing that comes with the Keurig(for when you run out of pods) (Doy)I think that's great and all(because she is more than likely reading this and will see if I call her names or anything) But the great thing about the fucking Keurig is that there is no mess. No coffee grounds, it takes very little time to make them........I am making excuses.

There I go. Fuck it. I love my Keurig, and if hemp wearing braless broom skirt Birkenstock lady doesn't like it(that's what I picture the recycle person to be wearing)(maybe she will have a recycle emblem emblazoned on the back of a green cotton shirt, I don't know)then she can recycle my pods by fashioning them into a pair of earrings!

Maybe that can be a craft we do at the party. Keurig pod necklaces made from the abundance of bamboo growing in our backyard.

PS I have done virtually no planning for activities, Suki is 120lb licking machine(our doggie) and kids will no doubt be traumatized by her, and we don't have enough hotdog buns.